Trump's Haircut

We're in that awkward stage of the campaign where any attack on one candidate could be seen as helping another. I regret that. I really would prefer if someone I liked had come forward who had a chance to win. That would have made this much more enjoyable. So what are we left with but to attack everyone, knowing in our hearts that it doesn't really matter because the true people in charge don't change and besides the election will probably be rigged anyway? As a comedy writer I am amused by Hillary tying herself in knots trying to handle Trump. My advice would be to start at the top and by that I mean an endless number of one-liners about a genuine Trump vulnerability. And yes, I am talking about his haircut. I'm not trying to start rumors but I've heard his haircut once had a wild affair with a badger. No really. I saw the whole thing on the "Animal Planet" channel. I think Trump should make a commitment to the voters right now: If he isn't elected he will agree to release his haircut back into the wild. It's only right.